You Don't Mess With The Zohan: Review


    So check it out! We got a movie where Adam Sandler is a bad ass and looks like a gay dude with a mullet. What's not to like?
    The story of You Don't Mess With The Zohan is simple. Adam Sandler plays Zohan, he's kind of the James Bond to the Israelis but with some mutant super powers. But his real dream is to cut hair so he fakes his own death and fly down to New York so that he can be a hairstylist.
    You know, these are the kind of Adam Sandler movies I hate because their just so retardedly silly, but I found myself laughing throughout this film man. And I really did try to hate this movie. I get into about 5 minutes of a movie and they have Adam Sandler catching a fish using the gap between his butt. This movie was so so stupid but it's what ultimately makes this entertaining.
    From the get go we have the filmmakers practically telling us, "Look, this is a comedy and it's going to be stupid so don't think so much and just enjoy it." And then the movie just goes and does all these crazy outrageous stuff and I really don't mind it so much cause I'm just enjoying myself brainlessly silly.
    And damn there's this girl in the movie that plays the owner of the Barber shop Zohan works for.Emmanuelle Chriqui is her name and damn is she one fine looking Israeli. And I love her accent. it's sort of like Middle Eastern mixed with French or something. Grrr.
    But there was one part in the movie that kind of creeped me out a bit. We get Adam Sandler in his tight Daisy Duke shorts and a disco shirt shampooing the hairs of really old women and literally shoving is crotch into their faces. We get a montage of Adam Sandler banging some old women in ways I cannot even begin to describe to you. Goddammit I think I'm scarred for life now.
    And of course with any Adam Sandler movie, we will have a cameo from Rob Schneider. And I didn't mind him so much this time. It didn't feel like he was crow barred into the movie and he had a decent contribution to the plot. And he was actually kind of cute in a funny way.
    What can I say, it's a stupid film but I enjoyed it for what it's worth. But I'm sure as hell never watching this shit again.

    RATING: 5/10

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